Let me ask you a question. What if the weatherman says it’s going to snow tomorrow morning and when you wake up it’s sunny and dry? Isn’t your world turned upside down? Isn’t it, you say? So let me ask you one more question. Why, if information like this is not life changing, so many people make it the topic of discussion every time they open their mouths?
What is it about the weather that makes it the default for 97% of all communications with strangers in our society? Is that really the only thing we think we have in common? And what do elevators have that make us talk about the weather?
“Hello.”
“Hello.” Brrr, it’s cold out there! ”
“It is. And I heard it’s supposed to snow all day.”
“Geez. I have to love winter.”
“Yes! 4 more months of this.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, have a good day.”
“You too. Stay warm.”
Honestly, I don’t recall having a conversation in an elevator that didn’t revolve around the weather forecast. It seems to be one of those things in our society that we cling to like a smelly old security blanket, full of holes. For whatever reason, we MUST know what the weather will be like at all times. Not only can we turn on our local news 7 times a day and see what is happening to our weather, but we can also watch The Weather Channel and never miss a single forecast for the whole world! 24 hours a day, 7 days a week … all the time, all the time! Oh what a joy!
If that’s not bad enough, we love making sure the weather is part of the negativity we so accept in our culture. Have you ever stopped to think that a “20% chance of rain” often means there is an 80% chance of sunshine? I have yet to hear a meteorologist say it that way.
Do you want to know the weather? Look outside! You know where you live … you know the season … you know the 2-3 possibilities of what the weather will bring on any given day. I have worked with enough meteorologists to know that there is a reason why it is called “forecasting” the weather. Why do we feel the need to check the weather several times a day? There are times when you would like to plan something that depends on the weather … I get it. However, just put a “plan B” in place and move on.
OK, what is the point of all this?
Well, for one thing, we let the things we can’t control take over our lives. Also, we let inconsequential things affect whether we are miserable or happy. The problem with that is that we often dismiss the positive things that would make us happy and empower the negative things that make us miserable by insisting on them.
So how do we change this? Let me assure you, it is as easy as flipping a switch!
Here are 5 surefire ways to go from negative to positive in 10 flat seconds:
1. Stop making life so difficult when you don’t have to. If you are focusing on something you have no control over, stop and focus on what you have full control over. Then take action.
o An example of this might be worrying about the weather forecast for a snowstorm in the morning during rush hour. His thoughts go straight to “I have a meeting at 8:00 am! I’m going to be late! It’s going to spoil the whole day! Everyone will be miserable from the way in!” Bla bla bla. Wait … let me wipe the tears away. You have no control over the weather or how other people may or may not react, do you? However, if we focus on those things, we all get angry. Annoying = miserable. So “let’s flip the switch.” What do you have full control over here? Can you leave half an hour earlier than usual? Can you pack your things for tonight’s meeting instead of trying to pack everything in the morning when you’re already in a rush? Can you choose to listen to something funny on the way to work instead of the depressing and rarely revealing news? SURE YOU CAN! YOU are in full control of those things! Control = happy.
2. You will never change others. Stop trying! Shake your head if necessary and move on. Rarely are things that surprise us really shocking. We are who we are and we will never be who we are not. If you are having trouble with another person, have the integrity to be honest, respectful, and agree to disagree.
3. You can always change yourself. Start taking inventory! If you have problems with many people, you may consider looking in a mirror. At times, it can certainly seem like you are the only sane person in the room. However, when enough people look at you strangely when you give your 2 cents, you may need to find out how you see yourself in the world. If you get stuck on this, ask someone you can trust to be honest with you. It is said that sometimes the truth hurts. You must decide whether the truth hurts more or less than a negative appearance in the world.
4. Always ask yourself “could it be worse?” It is most likely MUCH worse! Every day, you crash on the side of the road, or listen to a helicopter and look up to see Life Flight, or hear about someone you know or care about receiving challenging news, such as a death, layoff, or illness. Life passes. Be in the moment. Be grateful. Be happy. It could always be much worse.
5. Think about your Plan B every time you commit to Plan A. It just makes life a lot easier if you were proactive enough to say “what if?” Even if you don’t do something about it, you’ll be more prepared if you’ve thought about it when something (that you can’t control) happens that thwarts your Plan A.
Anyone can become “happy”. Getting rid of mental clutter and minutiae is an integral part of that. Here’s a challenge from The Identity Coach – Try following your own weather instinct for a week. You may be surprised how often you are right. And how often are you less stressed by what “might” happen.
The conclusions here are simple: life passes. There are things you have no control over and there are things you have full control over, focus on those things you have full control over. Take a little time not to look at others to see you. Be proactive sometimes instead of always reactive. Lastly, something I often heard my grandmother Estelle say, “this too will pass.” Go find joy in your life!