Personal core values

Each of us has our own set of values. These are what determine what aspects of life we ​​consider important or beneficial. Our values ​​help determine our tastes, our way of life, our entertainment, our social, political and religious interactions. Each of us has many values ​​and these values ​​can change as we grow older, reach different stages of life, or have different experiences or influences in life. Some of the values ​​we hold may be ‘superficial’, transitory, or appropriate only to the moment in which we find ourselves. Other values ​​are more fixed and can remain with us throughout our lives; these are our ‘core values’.

Our values ​​come from a variety of sources. Our parents are a key influence on our values ​​as we grow up as children. So is any church or religious background we have. Our society, our neighbors, friends and colleagues can also influence our values. So can our teachers and our education.

School can often be a place of conflict because it is there that we experience other values, perhaps for the first time. Some of the values ​​we experience in school may conflict or contradict the values ​​of our parents. As we move through high school, we begin to experience values ​​in ourselves and in our peers that conflict with both the school and our parents. Conflicting and unfixed values ​​can be a major problem for adolescents and adolescents.

As we grow in years and experience, our values ​​become more fixed, especially a set of 6-10 ‘core’ values. It is these core values ​​that determine what is truly important to us as individuals. The surprising thing is that if you ask most people what their values ​​are, many will not be able to give you an answer.

Many people lead lives disconnected from their core values. This can lead to a life of unhappiness, discontent, and lack of fulfillment. Sometimes it can cause conflict. Often times, the person does not know why their life seems unhappy, unsatisfied, and sometimes full of conflict. Often the cause is that the life they are living is not in accordance with their personal values.

For some people a conflict may arise within them because they are trying to live a life according to the values ​​of a company, an organization, a religious or political organization, the values ​​of their friends, colleagues or partners, rather than living a life according to your own core values. By doing this, the values ​​of the other people or organizations are being fulfilled, but the person’s own values ​​are not being fulfilled.

This does not mean that a person is always wrong in seeking to support and fulfill the values ​​of other people or organizations. However, leaving your own values ​​unfulfilled can lead to frustration and unhappiness. However, a key issue here is that the person may believe that they are doing the right thing by working with the values ​​of others and still feel a sense of frustration and dissatisfaction; -the reason is that they may be unaware of their own values ​​or, perhaps, feel guilty about their own values ​​when they conflict with the values ​​of others.

So if you feel that your life is not satisfied, you are unhappy, or perhaps you have too much conflict, then it could be that you are leading a life that is not in accordance with your core values. The question is; Do you know your own personal core values?

Hiring a personal life coach can certainly help you discover your personal values, but for those who want to start the discovery for themselves, try answering the following question;

What is important to you in life?

Don’t think about your answers (yes, there is probably more than one thing that is important to you), at least don’t think about them at first. Just write down whatever comes to your mind, no matter how strange, funny, or disturbing it may seem. These first responses are probably your “instinctual” or “intuitive” responses; sometimes these are closer to the truth than the answers you “think” about. Next, think about what is important to you in life. Take some time to consider your answers before writing them down in one word or a short sentence. Don’t worry if some of the same answers appear on your first list; – just write them again.

Now you have two lists. Look at them; Is there anything that surprises or worries you? Sometimes people can be quite surprised by what they write and sometimes they can write something that surprises them or for which they feel guilty.

The fairly common words that people put on their list of values ​​include; ‘money’, ‘success’, ‘family’, ‘wife / husband / partner’, ‘growth’, ‘power’. If you find one or more of these words on your list, ask yourself another question;

What does (the word) mean to me?

So you may ask, ‘what does money mean to me?’ To which the answer could be; money means security, or money means success, or money means freedom, or money means being able to support my family.

By answering the second question, you can help uncover the actual or underlying value for yourself. So for you money is not real value, it is ‘security’ or ‘being successful’ or ‘being independent’ or ‘being able to support my family’ that is real value.

So by doing these simple exercises, you are beginning to discover your personal core values. The next exercise is to ask yourself “How do my life, my work, and my relationships help fulfill my personal values?” If you find that they are not helping you meet your personal values, perhaps you should consider changing your life. To do that; get a life coach.

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