Have you ever tried to explain your favorite TV show to a person who has never seen their favorite TV show?
Well, it’s called Fringe and it’s about this guy, do you know Pacey from Dawson’s Creek? To the. And his father and the FBI, well, they’re not really the FBI, they’re like a special division that investigates strange happenings in the world… Yeah, a bit like The X-Files… a bit… but he’s the type and his father are not in the FBI. They just help. Oh, and there’s also a girl and a whole love story. And the father is a scientist and he opened a portal to an alternate universe and he stole a child and then the world is going to end and then these bald people from the future invade and they all turn amber and… Oh no, sorry, amber is like, it’s… Have you ever seen Jurassic Park?
This happens to me all the time with my boyfriend because I watch a lot of TV shows that he doesn’t watch. Mainly police dramas. Lots of crime dramas.
To his credit, he’s started watching some of them with me, Sini-SI: New York (with the lovely Gary Sinise), The Finder, and Hawaii 5-O. He was also watching Bones with me, but gave up after a few episodes.
It got us thinking about the ridiculousness of most crime dramas and how explaining the basic premise of many of them to people who’ve never seen the show can be…well, tricky.
He’s a dog… and he solves crimes. The little bum. (or Lassie…) ‘The plots range from simple “helping dog” stories to secret agent type adventures.’ -Wikipedia
He’s a pastry chef… and he solves crimes. Raising mallows.
He’s a doctor… and he solves crimes. Diagnosis Murder.
He’s a coroner… and he solves crimes. Doctor in medicine
He’s an alien… and he solves crimes. Alien Nation.
She’s a city morgue worker whose days are reset… and she solves crimes. True vocation.
He’s a serial killer… and he solves crimes. Right handed.
He’s a priest… and he solves crimes. dark father.
They’re a rich couple… and they solve crimes. Hart to Hart.
He’s a fake psychic… and he solves crimes. Psychoanalyze.
She’s a forensic anthropologist… and she solves crimes. Bones. (perhaps not too far fetched given that she is based on a real person)
She’s a model trying to escape bankruptcy by running the detective agency she used to own as a tax deduction…and she solves crimes. Moonlighting.
They’re a divorced couple who played a married couple on a fake TV show…and now they’re solving crimes. diamonds
He’s a brain-damaged war veteran obsessed with finding things…and solving crimes. The searcher.
He’s a writer… and he solves crimes. Castle. she (or she changes gender and she has Murder, She Wrote)
He’s a vampire… and he solves crimes. Moonlight. (and now it’s Steve in Hawaii Five-O!)
She’s a high school student… and she solves crimes. Veronica March. (whose co-star went on to star in Moonlight)
He’s a neuroscientist who hallucinates and has imaginary friends… and solves crimes. Perception.
She is a DEA agent recruited by a covert government agency that hunts down genetically enhanced individuals. She discovers that she can quickly heal from any injury and begins to investigate the source of her powers…and solves crimes. Painkiller Jane.
It’s an advanced, artificially intelligent, nearly indestructible car… and it solves crimes. Knight Rider.
He’s a robot… and he solves crimes. Robocop.
He’s a ghost… and he solves crimes. Randal and Hopkirk (deceased).
Think of your favorite TV show… Now try explaining it to someone who has never seen it before.