When a girlfriend dumps you for the first time, whether or not she accepts you is decided by many factors. The most important? How do you handle the break up? You need to realize how your actions immediately after the end of your relationship can drive your ex away forever or make her want you in her life again. There are behaviors she expects to see and behaviors that will make her wonder if breaking up with you was really the right move to begin with. The following are some good examples:
Act hurt or upset – This is what your girlfriend expects you to do when she’s done with you. Because? Because she wants to think that you’re still in love with her. She wants to know that she was needed and that her relationship with you all these past months or years was not in vain. Seeing you upset validates these things for her and lets her know it’s okay to move on.
How to turn it around: What’s the best thing to do when your ex breaks up with you? He nods and agrees with her. Tell him that you think it’s probably a good idea for the two of you to go your separate ways, and wish him luck. Then just turn around and walk away. It sounds simple, but it can be extremely difficult, especially since you still love this girl. However, you need to think long term. You need to focus on the goal of getting your girlfriend back and dating her again. When you look at things from this perspective, walking away is really the only option. It takes her out of the comfortable position of being in charge of the breakup and makes her look at the whole situation from very new angles. Get it right and your ex will really question the breakup.
Contacting your ex after the breakup – Your ex no longer wants to be with you and will want you to accept it. Still, he will wait for a while before you finally leave. He wants to see you so he can check on you, know how you’re feeling, see what you’re doing, and find out how you’re handling things. This is all part of making her feel comfortable being in charge, as mentioned above.
How to turn it around: Instead of “being close” to her after she dumps you, the best thing you can do to improve your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back is to completely disappear. When your ex turns around and you’re not there, she’ll start asking about you. She will start with her friends, then progress until she seeks information from her own friends. Make sure they don’t give you any.
How to win her back? Not seeing you or hearing from you is one of the best remedies for a breakup. When your ex makes an excuse to email or leave you a message, he ignores these things and leaves you wondering. After a while, her curiosity will get the better of her. You’ll be trapped in her skull and she won’t be able to think about much more than where the hell you are. She’ll even worry that maybe you’ve found someone else, which will make her wonder if you haven’t been for a while.
All these are good things. Your ex no longer has the right to dig into your personal life, and she knows it. She can’t keep nosing around, but she can’t stop thinking about you either until she finds out what’s going on. Avoid her for as long as possible, but if you must have contact (ie, if you work or go to school with her), say hello politely, nod, and move on. Your lack of reaction to the breakup will drive your ex completely crazy.
stay and be removed – Especially if she broke up when she knows you still love her, your ex girlfriend will expect you to become lonely and withdrawn over the next few weeks. Again, you would like to think that the breakup bothers you on many levels. She wants to be the one that got away, and now she can go find the person she thinks she wants. At the same time, she doesn’t want you to continue at all…at least not until she finds herself in a completely new and exciting situation.
How to turn it around: Outside! Do stuff! Look up your friends, your family, and any hobbies you’ve neglected while you were heavily involved in dating your ex. Now is the time to throw yourself into the spotlight and really have a good time. What if there is a chance that your ex will return to your behavior? WELL. The more news, the better. You want to convey the impression that you are not in the least bit bothered by the fact that your ex broke up with you. By always smiling, laughing, and having a good time, you show your ex that she’s not the only one responsible for your happiness. In fact, you’re having some of her best moments without her. This will make your ex jealous, no matter how he tries to rationalize things. It will also make you appear more attractive, because you are suddenly showing confidence and happiness – traits that most girls are attracted to. Keep it up, and before long she’ll be wondering why she let you go in the first place.