“Happiness is a habit, cultivate it.”
Elbert Hubbard
Parenthood is a lifelong journey that demands the best of you. You ask yourself, “How do I stay on track and go the distance, especially during tough times?” Discovering the 3As of what truly happy parents practice is a crucial step, otherwise the constant façade of happiness you put up for the sake of your family will eventually burn you out.
Although you can’t eliminate all setbacks in your life, it’s how you choose to respond to them that will make all the difference. Here are three practical tips – Accept, Affirm, Align (3As) – that can help you be the kind of happy parent who is well-equipped to raise happy children.
Tip #1 for Happy Parents of Happy Kids: Embrace Your Brain Chemistry
According to Professor Loretta G. Breuning, Ph.D., there are four neurochemicals that regulate our feelings of happiness. Endorphin is the body’s natural morphine that gives us a temporary high to endure pain when injured so we don’t have to quickly run from danger; dopamine keeps us high in view of a perceived reward; oxytocin triggers feelings of closeness when we bond physically or emotionally with others; and serotonin gives us a boost when they make us feel important.
Our neurochemical levels fluctuate as the situations around us change; for example, dopamine goes down when the goal is achieved. Because neurochemical gout deadens our feelings, we can imagine there is a problem and unknowingly take a negative perspective. But if we understand that this is how the balance of our neurochemicals works, we can reassure ourselves: “Relax, it’s the chemicals, it’s not me.”
Tip #2 for Happy Parents of Happy Kids: Affirm Yourself
We tend to be our own worst critic. In our sincere attempt to improve ourselves, we may overdo it by punishing ourselves for our failures. Unfortunately, if you put yourself down often enough, you’ll end up with so much negative energy that it spreads to others despite your best efforts to keep it secret. Your precious children are innocent parts that do not deserve your pent up negativity.
To be a happy parent, do yourself a favor: forgive yourself more. Speak affirmative words to the person you see in the mirror every day. If you don’t treat yourself well, who will? After all, it doesn’t cost you anything to do it—no hired coach or professional motivator needed.
Happy parent of happy child Tip #3: Align your expectations
Studies on consumer behavior have shown that once a customer is satisfied with a certain product or service, it will take more to please the customer the next time because the expectation level has increased. Also, you may have discovered something that makes you feel happy. But can you get the same level of joy from that same source day after day?
To counter the happiness paradox—that is, the happier you are, the harder it is to make yourself happy next time—author and psychologist Harry Beckwith, JD, recommends the following: Don’t lower your expectations, but don’t raise the bar either. . In other words, align your expectations realistically so you don’t create impossible goals and cause frustration instead.
Well, it seems that being happy comes with a caveat! However, that’s a small price to pay compared to the limitless possibilities that happiness can offer you and your loved ones.
conclusion
The aforementioned tips are by no means exhaustive. However, the 3As (Accept, Affirm, Align) are a good starting point in your effort to become a more consistently happy parent. Remember, the goal of being a happy parent is to be able to raise happy children who can reach their full potential in life.