Sometimes the roles of coach and student don’t come naturally to a parent and child. However, there are some simple guidelines you can follow to create a fun and effective coaching relationship with your child so that they enjoy learning with you and learn faster.
You may be a parent who is homeschooling your children or a parent who wants to help your children do better in the classroom. Whether he is homeschooling or your child is in school, he encourages you to invest time and effort in developing a good coaching relationship with your child. When you work together in harmony, learning math, reading, and writing becomes easier and more fun for them, and helping them becomes a joy instead of a chore for you.
For those who send their children to school, recent research found that parental involvement in children’s learning is a key factor in their success in school. The results showed that parental involvement shapes the child’s identity as a learner and sets higher expectations for the child (Ally Bull, Keren Brooking & Renee Campbell, 2008). I encourage you to be involved in your child’s learning. Getting involved in supporting your child’s education requires some time and patience on your part, and the expectation that they will practice the skills they are learning at school at home. You can extend and develop your child’s reading, writing, and math skills beyond what is possible at school, where your child has limited time with the teacher. You may be thinking that this involves hours and hours of extra work. On the contrary, short, regular bursts of time, a few days a week, will make a noticeable difference in your child’s performance in school.
Starting.
working inside clear roles it helps both of you to work well together. Both you and your child need to understand very clearly the role of the coach and the student. Your child will learn from you by following his instructions and doing the agreed-upon work. However, they must be in control of the lesson to some degree; For example, they could be offered options such as when they might need a break or what topic they want to start with.
When you coach your child, remember that you are both learning to work together in a different way. The role of coach and student is often very different from the role you have as parent or caregiver and child. For example, negotiating as two (relatively) equal people, regardless of age difference, is vital here for a good working relationship. As a parent, you may not often negotiate with the child; however, as a coach, negotiation is very helpful to your working relationship and your “buy-in” to the coaching.
Your child often knows what reading, writing and math skills they want and need to learn, and when they might need a short break, or if they have learned enough about new skills and knowledge. Keep this in mind and negotiate so that you both agree on the amount of work and how long they will work with you. Don’t let them dictate the terms here though, you also have to be happy with the amount of work both of you are putting in. Create a win-win situation for both of you.
Organize your life in advance a little more than usual. Allow plenty of time for the coaching session, a little more than you expect to need, so there is no rush. Whenever possible, arrange meals and other activities and children to fit in with the training, rather than the training fitting in with other commitments. When that’s not possible, you can train in small periods of time, such as when you’re waiting for another child or driving the car. Above all, training should be fun, not frustrating for either of you.
Establish a routine. Routines anchor you and your child when they are reluctant to learn and/or you are tired and don’t feel like training. When you use simple, clear, and consistent routines, you and your child learn that:
- Work needs to be done even when you both don’t feel like doing it.
- The most recent learning will be reviewed first until it is understood before training any new skills or knowledge.
- Certain skill areas of reading, writing, and math will always be covered.
You’ll both quickly understand that lack of focus, negative moods, and exhaustion don’t mean you stop getting the job done and it doesn’t have to get in the way of a training session. Establish clear limits through discussion with your child, and they will be more willing to work with you.
Have an established routine whenever possible to create a comfortable and work-focused environment.
- Prepare a drink for you and your child. You can also offer food, but keep it simple so they won’t be tempted to play with it. Maybe it can be a special drink and a type of food that is only offered when training.
- Have a fixed place where you work that is comfortable and free of distractions for both of you. It could be the kitchen table, but keep it completely clear.
- Have a set time when you start and finish working together. Have a watch available for both of you to see. You should try to be ready to start each training session at the same time, even if your child isn’t ready at first.
- Minimize distractions. Switch the phone to the answering machine and turn off your cell phone. If possible, other people should generally not be allowed into the training space, particularly at first when the child will have more difficulty concentrating.
Offer options. Choice is a magic ingredient when training. At first, if possible, keep the options you offer to no more than two alternatives. For example:
- Ask your child if he wants to start math or reading first.
- Ask them if they want to practice more addition or continue learning more subtraction.
- When writing stories, make suggestions, but allow the child to make the final decisions about the subject of the writing.
At first, the child may take a while to make a decision, so give him plenty of time to choose. They will choose faster as time goes by and they will develop more confidence. Aim for joint decision-making and if you disagree, do so respectfully. Never pressure or intimidate them into choosing. When they are very reluctant to choose a book or writing topic, help them but don’t choose for them.
Use the same or similar words each time you encourage or direct theMister. It is useful to repeat the same phrases and ideas often to reinforce habits and routines, as well as helpful attitudes. This saves energy and gives them clear messages. Keep those messages short and to the point. Attempt:
- “Let’s get rid of the hardest work first, and then do something we like.”
- “Practice this addition/time tables/spelling word so you’ll remember it easily.”
- “Five minutes to training time, so get your things ready now please.”
Ultimately, be deeply interested in your child. One of the most important attitudes you can have toward your child is that of ‘interest’ in him as another human being. Listen with interest and respect, like one intelligent person to another, to what they are saying. She knows the music, the books, the games, the sports that interest them. Ask them questions about these to update your own knowledge. Children often know more about the most interesting latest developments and can teach us.
- Remember what they say about their interests, because you can use this information later when they are writing, doing math, spelling words, or deciding what to read next. In addition, you can compare your persistence in successfully learning to jump or skateboard, for example, with your use of practice and determination to learn reading, writing, and math skills.
- Allow them a few minutes each session to talk about what interests them; maybe when they are taking a short break or maybe at the beginning of the session while you are settling in and getting ready for training.
When you both enjoy the training time, you will find that it is much easier for your child to learn and that the training process will go smoothly. People learn better and train better when they feel relaxed and have fun with each other.